I think we all still feel crushed and scared but it's overshadowed by something else - anger. Determination. Resistance. And community. We're going to fight but we're also going to dance, sing, and celebrate who we are. That's exactly what I spent 4 days doing this month.
I started the long weekend off with my trivia team, Darryl's Lesbian Haircut, with special guest teammate Nick, attempting to redeem ourselves at the annual Queers vs Breeders trivia night. Two years ago we experienced a humiliating defeat when we lost by a hair for forgetting a lyric to a Gaga song. It was so bad we skipped the following year but managed to shake off the defeat and come back this year AND WON!
Were we only one of two teams who actually showed up this year? MAYBE, but we were the victors nonetheless and therefore get to be considered the smartest queers and allies in the whole city for the next year.
Anyone who knows Portland karaoke knows that this sign means a complete shit show occurred. Sometime in the Spring, Kathy, Jill, and I decided we wanted to do a Pride karaoke and invited everyone we thought would be down for singing queer anthems, dancing, and having 1 too many strong, cheap drinks.
About a week before our event, Chopsticks 3 announced that karaoke that night would be PRIDE KARAOKE and everyone who wore gay swag would get 50 cents off all drinks. I didn't even mind that they clearly stole our idea because now the bar was going to be full of beautiful gays that weren't part of our group and we'd get discounts.
If you know anything about me at all, it's probably how much I love a discount.
Did my Queer As Fuck rainbow shirt get me 50 cents off every drink? I'll never know, you guys. It's Chopsticks 3. Do you think you get a detailed receipt? NO you sign off on whatever they say it is and stumble into the night hoping that you managed to tip (and not tip 700%)
Karaoke is my favorite thing, but this night was particularly good. We all got to sing a lot of songs - highlights probably being Emily doing Defying Gravity in ASL (as shown in the above video), Jill and I killing an A+ duet of Meatloaf's 'I Would Do Anything For Love', and all the amazing dancing we all did (also as shown in the above video, secretly captured by Emily on my phone). The low point was when they didn't have the Mulan song Ash was going to sing and we all died just a little bit inside.
The bar was full of LGBTQ beauties and each song choice was better than the last. Hell, our Speaker of the House was there and sang a country song with another lady. I saw her laughing along with the rest of her table when Kathy and I performed 'Fuck Her Gently.' (HEYYYY Tina Kotek! If you google your name and find this, that was me! Hit me up; let's talk politics!)
I will say, I probably won't close the bar out again. As most of our friends left at (semi?) reasonable times, Jill, Kathy, Katie, and I stayed until they kicked us out. Things got weird at least a half hour before that part. Frankly things got weird way before that for me because of a particular lady who wouldn't leave me alone but honestly, I was in no position to care! Why wasn't I?
Remember how I mentioned having 1 too many strong drinks? Well, I may have had more than 1 too many.
After getting home around 3am, I woke up at 5:30am and thought I was dying so I made the executive decision to add thousands to my already outrageous medical bills. Luckily after being really cold in a silly gown for a while, I felt well enough to snapchat which is great because I'm very pleased to have evidence about how good my eyebrows looked after such a night. In the end, after multiple tests, I was discharged with my cure:
And some tips from the doctor on how to handle my alcohol in the future. (Sorry family and bosses, current and future, but it was PRIDE!?) The next thing on the docket was the Pride Festival. I was 100% ready to rally - once I make a plan, I hate to change it, and no little thing like being in the hospital was going to stop me!
However, I wasn't the only one who closed out the bar and was feeling it the next morning and not everyone is as dedicated to doing things while feeling awful just because it was the plan. Who knew? It honestly turned out for the best that we skipped the festival because, after napping, it gave Jill and I a chance to leisurely visit our favorite local camera shop, Hollywood Camera, to pick up some film and chat with the owner, Ed. We followed that up with picking up churros and pizza so the grease could sop up the previous night and get us ready for the Thorns game that night.
Here is something I know to be an undeniable truth: women's soccer is superior to men's soccer and the Portland Thorns are the best women's soccer team. Kathy and I met up at the stadium with Ash and Ilea early so we would make sure to get our desired seats for the Pride game. We're all season ticket holders who "sit" in the supporters section, which means we stand and chant and yell the whole game along with the rest of the Riveters. It also means our seats are general admission so we need to be in the second gates open. Jill and Danielle joined us before the game started and we settled into our home to wave rainbow flags and chant with 18,000 of our closest friends.
One day I'll find the words to write about the Thorns and how special being in Providence Park supporting them is, but this is already pretty wordy, so just know that it's an incredible feeling being in a place where you feel 100% welcome and supported by everyone you see.
Finally, we've reached the day of the parade. We have a spot we like to sit, near the end of the route, beneath the stag sign. After dropping Kathy off to march with her work, and walking to grab some breakfast, Jill and I arrived at our spot a couple hours before the parade was slated to start. I worked on some friendship bracelets while Jill tried to nap.
Eventually we were surrounded by The Worst People on all sides and were forced to move to a different area. It was truly the difference between feeling like we were surrounded by people watching a spectacle and feeling like we were surrounded by our peers and allies. Maybe that will be our new spot.
The parade was everything I've come to expect - the same things make me cry every year: Dykes on Bikes, Raging Grannies, any and all elderly queer marchers, anyone carrying a sign about how much they love their gay/trans/etc child, and anyone who yells about something important to them (IE a cutie marching with an HIV awareness group who stopped and yelled "I'm healthy, I'm STRONG, and I'm HIV positive" before marching away.)
I love the marching bands and all of the singing. The Spin Cycle people who are doing their thing on a float for an hour. This year, I loved the abundance of protest signs everyone was carrying. I loved all the specific call outs to Black Lives Matter and, in particular, supporting and protecting our black transwomen sisters.
I always keep an eye out for a Catholic church because, even though I'm an atheist as an adult, I was raised Catholic and still have all the guilt and mixed emotions that come along with that. I don't know how to explain it, even to myself, why I want to see them amongst all the different religious groups that march in support but it likely has something to do with listening to anti-gay sermons when I was younger and wanting that reminder that not all Catholics feel that way. Who knows? All I know is there's ONE that always marches in our parade and I'm glad for it.
Anyway, I yelled out to my own work's marchers (who tossed me beads and hugged me) and Kathy's work (Kathy didn't see us, she was too serious about her marching) and various groups and places I like ("PORTLAND NURSERY! I BUY MY PLANTS FROM YOU!") because I literally have zero chill at Pride. I leave my body and all of my shy tendencies behind, just for a minute.
Once the parade concluded, we went to a brewery on the east side with our dogs, had a drink and some lunch, and declared this Pride weekend a success. Honestly, I'm ready to start planning next year because nothing at all feels as good as Pride.
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