Pride! A Deeper Love!

As Pride month comes to a close, I wanted to take a little bit of time to write about my own experiences during Portland's Pride weekend. I'd be remiss to not acknowledge the difference in how this year's Pride felt compared to last year's Pride. Last year Portland Pride happened just after the Orlando massacre and every event (and all of our lives and hearts) heavily reflected that. From candle-light vigils to a more somber collection of marchers at the parade, we all felt crushed and scared.

I think we all still feel crushed and scared but it's overshadowed by something else - anger. Determination. Resistance. And community. We're going to fight but we're also going to dance, sing, and celebrate who we are. That's exactly what I spent 4 days doing this month.

I started the long weekend off with my trivia team, Darryl's Lesbian Haircut, with special guest teammate Nick, attempting to redeem ourselves at the annual Queers vs Breeders trivia night. Two years ago we experienced a humiliating defeat when we lost by a hair for forgetting a lyric to a Gaga song. It was so bad we skipped the following year but managed to shake off the defeat and come back this year AND WON!

Were we only one of two teams who actually showed up this year? MAYBE, but we were the victors nonetheless and therefore get to be considered the smartest queers and allies in the whole city for the next year.

Anyone who knows Portland karaoke knows that this sign means a complete shit show occurred. Sometime in the Spring, Kathy, Jill, and I decided we wanted to do a Pride karaoke and invited everyone we thought would be down for singing queer anthems, dancing, and having 1 too many strong, cheap drinks.

About a week before our event, Chopsticks 3 announced that karaoke that night would be PRIDE KARAOKE and everyone who wore gay swag would get 50 cents off all drinks. I didn't even mind that they clearly stole our idea because now the bar was going to be full of beautiful gays that weren't part of our group and we'd get discounts.

If you know anything about me at all, it's probably how much I love a discount.

Did my Queer As Fuck rainbow shirt get me 50 cents off every drink? I'll never know, you guys. It's Chopsticks 3. Do you think you get a detailed receipt? NO you sign off on whatever they say it is and stumble into the night hoping that you managed to tip (and not tip 700%)

Karaoke is my favorite thing, but this night was particularly good. We all got to sing a lot of songs - highlights probably being Emily doing Defying Gravity in ASL (as shown in the above video), Jill and I killing an A+ duet of Meatloaf's 'I Would Do Anything For Love', and all the amazing dancing we all did (also as shown in the above video, secretly captured by Emily on my phone). The low point was when they didn't have the Mulan song Ash was going to sing and we all died just a little bit inside.

The bar was full of LGBTQ beauties and each song choice was better than the last. Hell, our Speaker of the House was there and sang a country song with another lady. I saw her laughing along with the rest of her table when Kathy and I performed 'Fuck Her Gently.' (HEYYYY Tina Kotek! If you google your name and find this, that was me! Hit me up; let's talk politics!)

I will say, I probably won't close the bar out again. As most of our friends left at (semi?) reasonable times, Jill, Kathy, Katie, and I stayed until they kicked us out. Things got weird at least a half hour before that part. Frankly things got weird way before that for me because of a particular lady who wouldn't leave me alone but honestly, I was in no position to care! Why wasn't I?

Remember how I mentioned having 1 too many strong drinks? Well, I may have had more than 1 too many.

After getting home around 3am, I woke up at 5:30am and thought I was dying so I made the executive decision to add thousands to my already outrageous medical bills. Luckily after being really cold in a silly gown for a while, I felt well enough to snapchat which is great because I'm very pleased to have evidence about how good my eyebrows looked after such a night. In the end, after multiple tests, I was discharged with my cure:

And some tips from the doctor on how to handle my alcohol in the future. (Sorry family and bosses, current and future, but it was PRIDE!?) The next thing on the docket was the Pride Festival. I was 100% ready to rally - once I make a plan, I hate to change it, and no little thing like being in the hospital was going to stop me!

However, I wasn't the only one who closed out the bar and was feeling it the next morning and not everyone is as dedicated to doing things while feeling awful just because it was the plan. Who knew? It honestly turned out for the best that we skipped the festival because, after napping, it gave Jill and I a chance to leisurely visit our favorite local camera shop, Hollywood Camera, to pick up some film and chat with the owner, Ed. We followed that up with picking up churros and pizza so the grease could sop up  the previous night and get us ready for the Thorns game that night.

Here is something I know to be an undeniable truth: women's soccer is superior to men's soccer and the Portland Thorns are the best women's soccer team. Kathy and I met up at the stadium with Ash and Ilea early so we would make sure to get our desired seats for the Pride game. We're all season ticket holders who "sit" in the supporters section, which means we stand and chant and yell the whole game along with the rest of the Riveters. It also means our seats are general admission so we need to be in the second gates open. Jill and Danielle joined us before the game started and we settled into our home to wave rainbow flags and chant with 18,000 of our closest friends.

One day I'll find the words to write about the Thorns and how special being in Providence Park supporting them is, but this is already pretty wordy, so just know that it's an incredible feeling being in a place where you feel 100% welcome and supported by everyone you see.

Finally, we've reached the day of the parade. We have a spot we like to sit, near the end of the route, beneath the stag sign. After dropping Kathy off to march with her work, and walking to grab some breakfast, Jill and I arrived at our spot a couple hours before the parade was slated to start. I worked on some friendship bracelets while Jill tried to nap.

Eventually we were surrounded by The Worst People on all sides and were forced to move to a different area. It was truly the difference between feeling like we were surrounded by people watching a spectacle and feeling like we were surrounded by our peers and allies. Maybe that will be our new spot.

The parade was everything I've come to expect - the same things make me cry every year: Dykes on Bikes, Raging Grannies, any and all elderly queer marchers, anyone carrying a sign about how much they love their gay/trans/etc child, and anyone who yells about something important to them (IE a cutie marching with an HIV awareness group who stopped and yelled "I'm healthy, I'm STRONG, and I'm HIV positive" before marching away.)

I love the marching bands and all of the singing. The Spin Cycle people who are doing their thing on a float for an hour. This year, I loved the abundance of protest signs everyone was carrying. I loved all the specific call outs to Black Lives Matter and, in particular, supporting and protecting our black transwomen sisters. 

I always keep an eye out for a Catholic church because, even though I'm an atheist as an adult, I was raised Catholic and still have all the guilt and mixed emotions that come along with that. I don't know how to explain it, even to myself, why I want to see them amongst all the different religious groups that march in support but it likely has something to do with listening to anti-gay sermons when I was younger and wanting that reminder that not all Catholics feel that way. Who knows? All I know is there's ONE that always marches in our parade and I'm glad for it.

Anyway, I yelled out to my own work's marchers (who tossed me beads and hugged me) and Kathy's work (Kathy didn't see us, she was too serious about her marching) and various groups and places I like ("PORTLAND NURSERY! I BUY MY PLANTS FROM YOU!") because I literally have zero chill at Pride. I leave my body and all of my shy tendencies behind, just for a minute.

Once the parade concluded, we went to a brewery on the east side with our dogs, had a drink and some lunch, and declared this Pride weekend a success. Honestly, I'm ready to start planning next year because nothing at all feels as good as Pride.

Rose Festival = Start of Summer

Oh, hello tiny abandoned blog. I made a new years resolution to write more and blog more and it's June now so...doing great! Anyway, I'm here now and let's never speak of this again.

Now, I know that the official start of summer is June 21st but, to me, it feels like it's beginning coincides with Portland's Rose Festival. The timing of this years Rose Festival, coupled with the oppressive heat we had last weekend (yup, the New Englander in me has totally acclimated and I now consider low 90s oppressive) and I'm officially declaring it summer.

There are a multitude of events that happen around the city and this past weekend Kathy, Jill, and I partook in two: CityFest and the Dragonboat Races.

On Friday night after work, we headed down to the waterfront for CityFest which is basically a carnival with the requisite rides, games, fried foods, and perhaps a musical act thrown in. (Slaughter was playing in the concert area on this night. I know, right?) 

So, listen. A carnival is one of my favorite things. I was PUMPED and READY. Jill got in for free because it happened to be some kind of floral night and she was wearing a dress with flowers but Kathy and I were not quite so fancy and had to pay the 7$. Guess what else I was pumped and ready for? To spend a lot of money.

I remember carnivals as a kid - you paid an entrance fee and then you get to ride all the rides as much as you want for free. Well, we're in the big city now, guys, and each ride cost 5$.  The three of us rode the ferris wheel which was amazing and afforded us some beautiful views of the river and city.

Jill and I are somewhere in this picture, living the dream. Kathy took this from the safety of the ground.

Jill and I rode a couple other rides and we all hit up some games. We truly came at the perfect time before it got too crowded when we'd have to compete against children with way more skills than us and we all ended up walking away with a prize in the end. Don't tell anyone, but we also witnessed a worker giving a child a prize despite him not actually winning it and my grinch heart grew 10 sizes that day.

I realized this day that my skee-ball skills have gotten rusty. I thew so many zero point balls!? Younger me would be totally ashamed of older me.

But, what is maybe the best part of a carnival?

Fried food! Delicious in the moment and, now that I'm not 15 with an iron stomach, a tiny bit regrettable in the end. But who cares about the end - gimmie that elephant ear and sweet apple pie fries and get out of my face. Not pictured is the corn dog I also ate.  I know, I know. Stop looking at me.

The next morning, we headed downtown to the waterfront again to watch some lady Dragonboat races.

It was hot! But we piled on the sunscreen, toted our camping chairs to the grass, and cheered those ladies on. While there were many amazing things that happened, the highlights for me were a Planned Parenthood team that did a bunch of exercises in a circle near us while their assumed captain was dressed as a giant penis. Kathy heard them doing chants about birth control in the staging area to get pumped before their race. AND their flag catcher was dressed up like Ariel. God, can it get any better than that?

Second highlight (realize I may have blown my highlight load with how good the first one was) was a dad who clearly had a daughter on the St. Mary's team. He had a horn that he blew literally every time the announcer said the words "St. Mary's." Not to miss a single horn blowing opportunity, he had a stand in blow it for him when he had to tie his shoes or something of the sort. Perfect.

These strong, badass, rowing women were super inspiring and I honestly could have sat and watched these races all day, but the power of the sun and heat kicked in we all packed up our chairs and headed out. 

This weekend could have lasted forever for all I'm concerned, but I'm not too bummed that it's all over because the rest of the summer holds a lot more fun to come and besides, I live in this amazing city and get to do it all again next year.

11 Days Down

I’ve been struggling a little bit with the emotional impact of my cross-country move. Despite Kathy and Jill being clearly amazing and giving me (and my cat!) a place to live and lovely company, there’s just something weird and difficult about being in a different time zone and losing your routine completely and not knowing where anything is and being unemployed and just kind of feeling…displaced, you know?

Also, this horrible (read: wonderful) thing where from the distance of 3,000 miles a person can be weird and moody and their best friend doesn’t know it versus being on the opposite end of the couch where she can look at you and know everything? (Also, Kathy could almost always tell from a distance anyway and I’m clearly fooling myself, but my “NO I AM NOT CRYING” has less of an impact when she can see me?)

Anyway, I’ve been here a bit over a week and wanted to focus on some awesome things instead of my general moodiness, so here is a not-comprehensive list of all the things that have made me happy since I landed at PDX.

-       Kathy and Jill were waiting for me when I got off the plane with hugs and excitement. In my ‘I just packed up my whole life and have been on a plane for almost 7 hours exhaustion’, I told someone who asked if I had been on the flight from New York City “No.” Oops, yes I was. I don’t know why that makes me happy, but it does. 

-       Running errands with Jill on my first day here because, seriously, grocery stores that don’t exist where you used to live are actually really fun and exciting?

-       Walking down the street to get drinks and some food from Coasters, which is a perfect and trashy little bar. Trying to play darts but having no clue what any of the 400 options were or what we did to temporarily break the game in the end. Also, I’m very bad at darts. I don’t know this based on my score (because I don’t understand my score?) but based on the fact that most of my darts just bounced off the target?

(Jill took this picture. I stole it from her instagram.)

 -       First food cart visit since moving! We went to The Angry Unicorn and all got The Best Burger (which lives up to it's name) and giant glass bottles of soda. Bonus points for the fact that the cart had a cool bottle opener built into the side. Double bonus points for JP jumping up and biting a bee that was flying around terrorizing us and then triple bonus points for the owner of The Angry Unicorn coming over and further stepping on the bee to kill it and save us all. Also, when we were leaving, his chalkboard stated “ONE BURGER LEFT” and he must have sold it because he added an N to the front which made me giggle. All the bonus points.

-       Jill being the best chef in the world, probably? Practically every night she’s cooked some amazing dinner, which I’ve gotten to eat. Why would I ever move out? This is a dream come true.

 -       Going for a walk with Kathy and JP where Kathy showed me the park she plays basketball in, which I will one day soon go with her and play basketball aka swing on the swings. 

-       Taking a bus all by my grown up self to Powell's which is an amazingly huge bookstore where I intended to look at books about Portland, but also picked up a couple YA novels because I’m unemployed and it’s a good time to buy really necessary things like that? I also walked around the city by myself for a few hours just to look around which is something I should probably start doing more of. Seriously though, I lived in Boston. I spent a lot of time on public transport. Yet, I’ve never really taken a bus before? What even.

-       Going to a chili cook-off, which, frankly, I was nervous about because I’m really bad at parties? And being in groups of people I don’t know? And meeting strangers? AND EXISTING AS A RATIONAL HUMAN BEING? But luckily it was lots of fun and everyone was super awesome and Jill being the best chef in the world paid off because her chorizo and yam chili totally won! Also, the wine I picked out almost won the wine contest and in the end we took home all the prizes anyway, so yay!

 -       Okay, so earlier this week I made a list of things that I wanted to do in Portland and one of them was to check out the Portland Flea, which is a flea market that takes place once a month. Kathy and Jill had never been to it either, so we all trekked off on Sunday morning. Let me tell you that the word “flea” is used super loosely. It’s basically a lot of hip overpriced used stuff with none of the fun digging around at a flea market feel. I was really happy that we went, but am in certainly no hurry to go back. However, afterwards, we went to the House of Vintage, which is this HUGE vintage/thrift shop and it was amazing and totally made up for the flea being slightly less than. They also had a great old photobooth that was still functioning and had been hooked up with a credit card machine, so I swiped my credit card and forced everyone to get in. Photobooths are basically my favorite things and I’m totally going to make us have a tradition of getting our pictures done in the old one there because it’s a dream come true. (I have nerdy dreams.) 

-       Walking around the neighborhood by myself, just to get out of my job-applying-pajamas for a bit and walking by a dude eating icecream off of a paper plate with a fork. When you need icecream, you just NEED IT.

 -       Speaking of icecream…we went to Salt and Straw, which is the most amazing place ever. Right now they have a great Thanksgiving menu with awesome flavors like Sweet Potato and Candied Pecans and Salted Caramel Thanksgiving Turkey (Kathy said you could really taste the fat) From the Thanksgiving menu, I got a scoop of Pumpkin Custard and Spiced Chevre and a scoop of Almond Brittle with Salted Ganache from the regular menu. We also brought home a pint of Apple Cider Sorbet which is super exciting. ICECREAM IS JUST REALLY A THRILL, GUYS.

-       Just hanging out and watching all the stupid things on TV. Though I will never admit it in real life, I really like all the poking and kicking Kathy does when I’m not paying her enough attention while we’re all sitting around. It’s nice to just be here and not on skype while I talk way too much during shows.

So, yeah. While my emotions have been kind of up and down, a lot of fun stuff has happened as well, so I’ll go ahead and call these last 11 days a success with so much appreciation for the people who are letting me annoyingly invade their space for a while. At least I’m trying to contribute by washing the dishes as much as possible.